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Posts Tagged ‘fear’

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It’s so important, and yes, haste really does make waste and if you don’t know who Keisha* is, she’s probably you. I have been learning that time can help almost any situation you find yourself in. Sometimes, you just have to be still and wait, even if you don’t even know what you’re waiting on. I sometimes feel so anxious and nervous for no reason at all. I partially blame modern technology and the addiction to social media, but there’s something more. I have realized that the reason I have been feeling incomplete or that I am not where I am supposed to be is because I bought into the Disney Princess/All American Dream that by now I’d be well into my dream job and on my way to being proposed to. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I keep telling people that I feel like I am at a standstill. How can that be when God is always moving? I’m ashamed to say that I have not been as grateful as I should be lately. I have not been appreciating this moment right now. I’m constantly worried about the next moment, and then the one after that. The reality is, these moments are going to come and go with or without my help. I am not in control here. It seems like such a simple thing to say, but realizing that God is really in control unleashes a whole new sense of power. Naturally, being the control freak that I am, I never thought I’d feel so empowered by letting go of something. I have never felt more liberated. Deciding to surrender and wait on God and live in His timing instead of my own, is truly something. I mentioned to one of my mentors that I felt that I was in “limbo”. His response was, that’s because you think you know where you’re supposed to be. I don’t. I don’t know where I’m supposed to be because if I did, I’d understand that I’m already here. I’m learning to be okay with exactly where I am, right now. I have moments of doubt, which will come and go, but I will no longer allow them to OVERcome before they go. Progress is a slow process.

 

 

*Keisha: (n) One who is not taking her time through life; rushing; hastily making decisions, or not making important decisions; ignoring her intuition.

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In my recent MANcation revelation, I discovered that I don’t have enough faith in myself and I lack belief in myself at times. This was ever so evident a few weeks ago when I actually heard myself downplaying my abilities to someone else. I was explaining my blog and a future project to someone and I said “Yes, I have a website, but it’s just a wordpress site.” It took me a second to realize that I had just made it okay for the person I was talking to not to take me seriously. I had minimized myself and my abilities out of fear that someone may make me, prove it.

Interestingly enough, the one thing I am most confident in is my ability to connect with people through my writing. Somehow, at that moment, and many moments preceding that moment, I decided that I didn’t believe in myself.

Confidence is so important. We’ve all seen someone so confident that we just expect everything they do to be magnificent only to learn that their bark is more powerful than their bite. We’ve seen people that don’t have that much talent but they excel in their fields simply because they have enough people that believe them. That’s confidence. No one will believe you if you don’t. I really thank God for these moments when I’m able to see myself as an outsider would, and take a deep look at the situations I place myself in.

I am making a conscious decision to have more confidence in myself. I think my issue is that I’m so afraid of being great at something that I’d just rather give you a mediocre answer so if I don’t deliver, you won’t be surprised. Being great, is hard work! I know that sounds pitiful and lazy,but this is a judgement-free site! I know there are tons of people out there who share my reasoning. However, that is a very weak and insecure way of thinking. If you continue to think on a small scale, you will only produce small things.

God placed you here to be great. It is an absolute insult to Him to diminish the work He has done in you by minimizing them. I’m always afraid to say good things about my capabilities for fear of appearing arrogant.

I can’t tell you how many times I read my blog and think “Seriously, Lana, who cares?,” but honestly, people do care; they enjoy my writing and testimonials and there’s nothing arrogant about accepting that. It inspires people, it encourages people and that’s a good thing. There,
I said it!

The difference between arrogance and confidence is realizing where these gifts come from and giving the praise to the Creator. It is okay to say, “I’m a great singer,” or “I’m a great writer,” etc., as long as you make sure you give the glory to the Lord for blessing you with such talent.

He has only created you for greatness. Making light of the gifts God gave you is not honorable and it just gives others permission to define you and place limits on your success.

This was definitely an eye opening experience and I thank God for it. I will no longer minimize my talents and I will only speak greatness. Care to join me?

Doubt and Uncertainty are the first cousins of Fear, and I intend to disrupt this family reunion indefinitely.

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